How long can you last?
“Dont worry if I write rhymes/I write checks,” says lil’ ole Uffie in her new focus track from June’s whatever-titled Sex Dreams And Denim Jeans
Trust me Uff, I’m not fucking worried. I’m just not – and I worry a lot. I worry about my work, whether or not I left the door unlocked, if there’s food in my teeth, if we are in fact heading towards the apocalypse, whether or not the Lindberg baby was REALLY kidnapped, Falcon Heene, the success of J4, Harry Whittington’s recovery progress, and dinosaurs.
I don’t worry about your MC Speak and Spell immature cocaine party-girl gobbledygook. You are a performer that wows only the most saccharine sheeple waiting in line for a DJ Skribble party. Marquee is calling.
That said the powers around you conspired to make a pretty dope video.
Step 0: Be born
Step 1: Be a terrible teen musician
Step 2: Have your family also be terrible at everything
Step 3: Form a band with everything that’s terrible in your life
Step 4: Go on CBS’ Early Show’s Singing Family Faceoff Competition
Step 5: Take your thinly veiled conservatism to the masses with this audible bile
Step 6: Puberty
Step 7: Never get laid
Step: 8: Realize that you can’t until you’re married anyway
Step 9: Pills
Step 10:
This is amazing. Like A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
whhhhhhhhho bought this pudgy little tot that outfit?
Meet Mike Boy Master. Blowin out your asshole from the heart of Nordrhein-Westfalen Germany!!!!
OBVIOUS BIEBER FAN IS OBVIOUS
Now it’s one thing to use autotune. It’s another thing to crank it. AND IT’S AN ENTIRELY OTHER OTHER THING TO CRANK IT IN THE WRONG KEY. Like is this guy some sort of innovator? Of course not. He’s sadly misguided and obviously trying to get a girlfriend. But hey it’s a beautiful day isn’t it Mike?
BIRTH
CONTROL
Sick Canadian tuxedo
Enjoy more stupidity at myspace.com/mikeboymaster
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