If you ever played Starfox…this will probably make you chuckle a bit too. Also, this game made me almost punch my cousin in the face but he was like 5 years older than me, so I didn’t.
Ohhhhh kay.
To me, this is the sign we were waiting for that autotuning things that are not music has reached critical mass. Thank you Gregory Bros, thank you legion of multitrackers that can’t actually sing, and thank you T-Pain. It has been a wonderful year, but now, I think we can put this on the shelf and break it out again over Christmas 2015 with a sense of warm nostalgia. Either that or this is, like everyone has feared/speculated on, the next generation of music. All music will be increasingly esoteric and abstract forms of autotuned layered nonsense.
Well, at least it’s not trance.
Though, I have to say, this is a cut above the Autotune the News productions. There’s some real thought that went into this, and they did autotune Stephen Hawking, a man who’s only voice is ALREADY DIGITAL. Redigitizing the already artificial, even further dehumanizing it? I’m pretty sure Shirow Masamune is telling you right now that he told you so.
Hello dear reader, sorry for the lack of updates in the last 2 days. Paul came over and I lost about 2 days of my life to Modern Warfare 2. BUT in much better news we’re having a party for Carter’s birthday tonight! It’s a surprise, but Carter has been so remiss in posting here, that I’m going to do what he did to me to him, follow? I’m going to reveal Carter’s birthday surprise on this blog, and then see if he checks it by 6pm today when we pick him up, SO:
At 6pm today we will pick up Carter outside his apartment in a stretch hummer, then drive to the airport where our good pal Chris has taken the liberty of getting us a Gulfstream that is going to fly us to fabulous KENNYBUNKPORT! Where we will have a fantastic dinner of fresh, seriously fresh, Maine lobster. Then since Carter wants to go home and see people, we will fly back to New York, drop him off, and then the rest of us are going to SANTA CRUZ for the weekend. Should be good times. Anyway, let’s see if Carter responds to that.
OK (did you know that OK is a sideways person? Shit blew. my. mind the other day)
OK so that was a lie. What we are actually doing is picking Carter up in a party van and driving him to an Arby’s about 3 hours upstate! We’re going to party all the way up, get some roast beef, and then party down! WOO! But someone needs to stay sober and drive and I say it now, not me, so when this comes up later I can say I already said not it.
Let’s see what happens. Also, I don’t have time now, but the last two days have shown me something, something that I want to share. COMING UP (probably tomorrow) 10 Reasons Why Modern Warfare 2 Is Better Than Sex, Cheese and Your Mom’s Homecooking.
Oh and just so you don’t think I shortchanged you on this post: Did you see Kristen Wiig’s impression of Natalie Merchant a couple weeks ago? Holy crap.
thank you again dear reader, for following along.
via RolCats currently, the strangest meme i know of.
You know, I’m a white kid.
I know, I know. Shocking. I have been told many times that due to the roughness of my prose and truncated sentence structure that I read more like a child from the inner city. Coupled with my innate lyricism and frequent use of the lexicon of “the streets” it might be easy to confuse suburban Whitey McWhiterson over here with someone with a little more ethnic panache. Like Jay-Z for instance. Are we so different?
I would like to cite The Blueprint 3. Yes, I know, through the first two Blueprints, Jay-Z was Ragged Dick and Struggling Upward, but now, on this album, Jay-Z has revolutionized hip-hop music. He has infused it with the one thing that it never managed to achieve.
Old-Rich-WhiteGuyness.
In one of the masterpieces on the record “Off That,” Mr. Carter claims to drive a hard-top saab, own a loft in tribeca (where the median sales price currently according to Trulia.com is around 2.5M, sitting a comfortable 1.5M above the median sales price for the rest of manhattan) and own Art. THIS IS OLD WHITE GUY RICH. I love old rich white guys. They have terrible stories generally, but would have been amusing ten years ago, and they have a lot of money to throw around. Old rich white guys buy weird shit too, like after they have a yacht and a mansion, they’ll spend 200 bones on a bottle of scotch, or 1000 bucks on a useless end table that really wasn’t necessary because the coffee table was right there, but it totally “ties the room together.” Old rich white guys are weird and freaking awesome, I hope to be one someday.
Also, they have hot younger wives. A lot of the time, except for the really awesome ones who married young and nailed the hottest thing on the market at the time. Which is awesome. Early investing pays dividends in the long run (read: hot kids. who doesn’t want hot kids?)
Anyway, Jay-Z is like an old rich white guy now, because he’s so stupid rich and has a hot wife. What was I actually talking about? I meant this to be a comment on the progress of hip hop culture toward the mainstream and it’s influence on the constantly shifting amalgam that is american culture, but really I just want to go on Jay-Z’s yacht. I think it’d be fun.
SIGNING OFF!
I’m wearing a jumpsuit right now, and it’s awesome. And I’ll tell you why.
1. College kids look at me with pity.”Oh I’m getting a college degree so I’ll never have to put one of those on. I’m never going to be working class” WRONG DBAG. You’re going to be working class, and you know why? SUB LIST
[1. Bachelors degrees dont mean shit. They're a dime a dozen. Honestly, you'll make more money getting your associates in criminal justice or whatever than you will working at brueggers waiting for your writing career to "take off" *sob*
2. You're an asshole, and no one, not one person, except maybe Paul, likes assholes]
2. NO NONSENSE. I mean, no pants, no shirt. Just SUIT. No buttons, no lining, no frilly bullshit, just pockets and canvas.
3. It’s roomy. Like 1995 roomy. Like “dot com stocks are booming and my kids are wearing jncos cause the economy is so strong and we can buy as much fabric as we fucking like” roomy. I read something about that once. Anyway, there’s room in there.
4. I know I touched on this before, but fucking POCKETS. The pockets are awesome.
Reasons I don’t like wearing a jumpsuit.
1. Sometimes, your balls can get caught on the zipper. This list would not exist except that that just happened. To me. And it sucked.
I’m a janitor for halloween, what are you, dear reader?
People really hate on Cracked.com, but goddamn, those motherfuckers are REALLY funny sometimes. For example: Take this post where Cracked.com writer Chris Bucholz attempts to buy a pirated copy of Windows 7 on eBay. Here is what showed up:
Amazing. He then continues to write a thousand word review discussing hardware and network configurations. It is one of the funniest nerd/tech stories I’ve read in a LONG time. Bravo.
<3 Lonely Island. One of the best shorts yet.
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