i love this video. an internet classic. i’m sensing a theme for the day.
Pwned you asshole.
K: i hate facebook
K: i realized
C: its great
C: im so glad we love it together
K: i cant spend more than 2 minutes on it
K: like it legitimately gets me irritated
C: ok well when you get off your tower shouting down at the rest of us i’ll make sure that i poke you and write on your super wall
K: poke me?
C: n00b
You know I love vegetarians. I fucking LOVVVEEEEE vegetarian restaurants. Actually… you know what? Fugghit. I even love vegans. But this shit is so stupid.
SO FUCKING STUPID. Most of America that doesn’t touch an ocean (except for that ring of Texas to Florida) already thinks PETA is a bunch of elitist pinko commies, so why would these skinny-idealistic-egg-throwing-American-Spirit-Smoking-hipsters choose to alienate the rest of the country? Because they’re better than everyone… obviously. Eating food with a shadow is so Y2K.
I mean it IS fucking funny, but it’s tasteless and low brow. Add a NO FEAR logo to it while you’re at it. Silly vegans.
This is probably the best plane prank I’ve ever heard. Why can’t all flights involve Jeff Klein?
Jeff: You should get fake blood caplets and pretend to be a really discrete cutter on the plane
Me: How does that work?
Jeff: You ask the girl next to you her name, and slowly razor it into your arm.
Who spells it C-A-I-T-L-Y-N-N ?
speaking of the NJ experience fallout…
so i spent all of the next day slowly dying of liver failure and cerebral hemorrhage on carter’s couch. it was brutal, robin came over. i missed two trains because i got wrapped up in t2. finally though at around 10 i got my ass off the couch and on a train to ct to try to recover from the weekend’s activities (especially the one’s i don’t remember). so i’m on the train back, trying to hold back vomit and my parents keep calling me to ask where i am. i’m like, does it matter, you’re going to bed and i have keys. they keep calling and are getting progressively drunker. my mom, by the end was slurring her words and just hung up on me i think because she couldn’t hold the phone anymore.
finally, i’m pulling into the station before greenwich and i hatch a genius plan: to eat the pot brownie in my bag and then watch iron man on demand. sick, i say to myself. so i eat the brownie and pack up my shit and no sooner do i stand up as we’re pulling into greenwich than my dad calls me wasted asking where i am (again). i tell him i’m pulling into the station and i’ll walk home. he insists on picking me up (wasted). i’m like….fuck. so he’s coming to get me and i’m waiting there for like 20 minutes (we live a 10 minute WALK from the station) and i’m thinking to myself, I just killed my dad indirectly. great. but lo and behold he pulls up and gives me this look. and i’m like oh god, he found drugs in the shit i left there. so i get in the car and try to make small talk but he’s not saying much. and i’m starting to get high. and this is not going well. as we pull up to the house he’s just like, hang out for a bit i want to talk. we go into the house and he pours two glasses of wine.
i tell him i don’t want wine, and he pours my glass into his and then hands me a beer. and he says again he wants to talk. it occurs to me at this point that he’s COMPLETELY SHIT FUCKING WASTED and wants to have a father son life chat. which is fine, i love getting drunk with my dad late into the night and waxing philosophical, only he’s NOT USING VERBS OR ADJECTIVES. he’s speaking entirely in nouns with noises and looooooooooooooooong spaces in between. like spaces so long i could have gotten up and made myself a quesadilla and sat back down before he got to the point. except, now, he’s got me in his spell and he’s intimating heavy shit if not talking about it directly and i just keep getting higher and higher and there seems to be no escape. i’m so fucking stoned and my dad is shit fucking wasted and neither of us are communicating and oh my god i think this is hell. finally, after in the neighborhood of an hour of this nonsense i finally excuse myself to bed.
he remembers none of what we talked about.
sigh.
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