HI MY NAME IS CARTER AND I’M CASUALLY PRESSING THE BUTTON FOR “5TH CIRCLE” IN THE ELEVATOR TO HELL

WANT NOW: MY BULLETS ARE ACTUALLY OWLS. THEY’RE CALLED OWL BULLETS.

This is, in fact, an owl… stop asking me if these are real bullets

THANK YOU SACHA. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

MERRY CHRISTMAS NANCY REAGAN! (LOVE MR. T) ?

merrxmas nancy

Unsettling Today: Cat Massage

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

Wow.

*laughs nervously* *winces* *repeats*

Your weekly dose of: “By laughing, you certify your place in hell”

Enjoy the Para-golfer.  this is not  a joke.

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ROBOTS

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ROBOTS

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ROBOTS

paragolfer-machine_iueax_54-300x214

Mother of the yea…. OH DEAR GOD YOU’RE FUCKING INSANE

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MORE CRAIGSLIST: CHEESEBALLS AND EROTIC PHOTOHUNT

cheeseballs

YOU FART LIKE A CLYDESDALE

I love craigslist.  i love it so much.

clydesdale

WTF: “HELLO? YES. I’D LIKE TO ORDER ONE OF YOUR CABINETS FOR MY HOME THEATER… CAN YOU SHOW ME SOME EXAMPLE INSTALLS?”

the balloons love the surround sound

the balloons love the surround sound