Twilight really does blow. It really really does. You guys. I’m not kidding.

Has anyone seen the first Twilight movie? It was awful. Like, so awful that I felt robbed for TORRENTING it (don’t ask, I was bored and left alone one night. Moral of the story: I need adult supervision at all times). The only redeeming quality was the fact that apparently the entire production staff had no idea what a cinematographer was, and so they let him/her do pretty much whatever they wanted. The result? A gorgeously over-saturated lushy green and grey paradise that didn’t fit anything else having to do with the movie. It’s like the cinematographer took it upon themselves to make this movie pretty like King Richard took it upon himself to conquer the shit out of the middle east. Now, that being said, it was still the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I can hear you dear reader, “ha ha, there’s no way that’s possible, haven’t you seen The Proposal, or The Net, or even Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous?” Shut up. Shut up dear reader, and also why do you hate Sandra Bullock so much? Actually, that was just my imagination of your hypothetical refusal to believe me, so I guess….Why do I hate Sandra Bullock so much? Oh yeah, cause she’s intolerable to watch.

Wait, I’m getting off topic. I would watch a youtube mash up of The Net and BOTH Miss Congeniality’s cobbled together by a 14 year old, tracked exclusively to Nickelback and interspersed with stills of Miley Cyrus, rather than once again sit through the scene where that FUCKING HAIRDO explains that VAMPIRES ARE SPARKLY. GOD DAMMIT.

Anyway, this has all been a preamble to this video. New Moon in one minute.

Thanks to ZZZLLL for posting this originally and Risa for reminding me how funny it is.

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