Pity me. (Things I like and don’t have)

Pity me oh pity me dear reader. Not just because I have had Ke$ha’s “Tick Tock” stuck in my head for the last 3 days, though that is reason enough. That damn synth sound…so infectious. Anyway, don’t pity me for that, however deserving it may be. Don’t pity me because I just ran out of Coffee Bean Vanilla Iced Coffee (read: crack cocaine) and am stuck in the San Fernando Valley with no car and no means to procure more caffeinated deliciousness. No, don’t pity me for that, however pitiful it may be. Don’t pity me because I just spent the better part of an hour trying, to no avail, to find an embeddable version of David Bowie’s “Ashes to Ashes” video because it’s fucking hilarious and amazing. Pity me because not only are all of these things true, but I won’t ever be able to experience the first time I heard this song, late at night, coming over the top of the hill dividing Los Angeles proper from the Valley, the irony* of listening to a song about Brooklyn on the left coast not lost. Sigh**.

So enjoy, I sure did.

*Irony like the alanis morisette song. So, not irony at all, actually. Just semi-notable passing coincidence.

**Yes I am prone to over-sentimentalizing moments. Fuck you if you’re not. Your memoir is going to be fucking boring and I won’t read it.

This Is Why People Hate Hot Topic.

I am so fucking embarrassed to work in the music industry.

What To Do When Your Country Can’t Feed Itself

Comrade 1: I have a great idea.
Comrade 2: Is it to go up to the roof and jump off?
Comrade 1: Actually, yes.
Comrade 2: Fuck yeah. I’ll get my boots.

I can’t decide if this is the reason we won the cold war, or the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.

FUCK YES: BEST USE OF MAC “GENIE” EFFECT EVER EVER EVER

click to enlarge

WASH YOUR FUCKING PANDAS

I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO COMPREHEND: YOU CAN SHAVE THE BABY

SHAVE THE BABY. CLICK TO ENLARGE

YOU’RE A FUCKING LOSER

L337 D00d ULTIMATE FARMVILLE PWNAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UHM WHOOPS: NBC HONORS BLACK HISTORY MONTH. ?UESTLOVE (YOUR NAME IS FUCKING STUPID BY THE WAY) TWITTERS IT. A WHITE EXECUTIVE BREAKS A SWEAT.

BACON BEER: IT’S REAL. I WILL GET IT. REVIEW PENDING….