BATTLE ROYALE: SCAT SINGING – TO THE DEATH!!!

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MORE MAURY POVICH GOODNESS: 9TH GRADE WHORE, ANGEL, NEEDS HELP, PROBABLY WON’T GET IT

Now do you think she got a lisp from the meth?  Or was it the fellatio?
My favorite quote: “And if I want to have these hickeys all…. over…. my….. neck.  THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”  Also notice how she calls her mom a whore in the promo with really no reason other than the fact that she cares for her.  CONTEST TIME!  Count how many times she says “DONT BE HATIN’”  Any pronunciations with a “g” do not count.

FAT FUCKING BABY: “I FEED MY 84 LB BABY 40 CHICKEN WINGS WHATEVVAAAAH”

“Maury she’s overweight… tell me something I don’t know WHATEVA”
MORE FAT KIDS AFTER THE FAT JUMP!!!

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HAHA YOU SUCK: LEHMAN BROS. CEO GETS A KNUCKLE SANDWICH

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While yes it’s always funny when a zillionaire gets a sucker punch in the gym while on the treadmill watching his company crumble… I do still teeter on feeling bad for the ole’ Lehman Bros.  They got screwed in out of all that bailout money that’s going to be thrown around.  I mean this bank was 168 YEARS OLD. 

THINK ABOUT IT.

I MEAN HOLY FUCK.  MARTIN VAN BUREN WAS PRESIDENT.  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS?!  Ok well most people don’t either, but he was that dooshbag that lost the 1840 election to William Henry Harrison THE DUDE WHO DIED RIGHT AFTER HE TOOK OFFICE FROM PNEUMONIA.  wait right?

Wait was I talking about?  Oh yeah I remember

PUT ON A FUCKING SWEATER IF YOU’RE OUTSIDE IN JANUARY IN THE MID 19TH CENTURY…

AND GET THAT RICH GUY A STEAK FOR HIS FACE. 
 

THE ONION TV: THE BEST COMEDY ON THE WEB – ALSO MEXICO IS THE BUTT OF ANOTHER JOKE

Yeah yeah the daily show is funny…  What with the sarcastic quips about silly news, BUT IT HAS NOTHING on the The Onion TV.  Sensibly insensitive, and afraid of nothing, their motion graphics alone rival Fox News.  Check out this Hurricane report.

WTF: I JUST GIVE UP

Wisconsin’s finest.
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THINGS TO READ: THE CHARTICLE MCCAIN DOESNT WANT YOU TO SEE

Thanks Gawker for showing this to the world.  Thanks again for the great one-liner “Spin this, you filthy rich basket case.”
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TV CLIPS: MARK WAHLBERG TALKS TO ANIMALS

The best impression I’ve seen in YEARS.

WTF: GODDAMNIT ASIA – STIR FRIED WIKIPEDIA?

This dish available in like 20 languages I’m sure…  But the pimientos really add that extra zing.
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