NO AMERICANO IS DISTINCTLY AMERICANO

So, this song happened. And I didn’t know it was a thing. But apparently it’s a thing having been appropriated by my two favorite representations of quintessentially American high and low culture.
1. The Jersey Shore

This video made me laugh the first time I saw it. Let’s just say the sun was down, and I was feeling…receptive. Anyway, that high voice in the beginning borders on terrifying, but the earnest, childlike joy that the castmembers are experiencing with a simple isight just warms the heart. Then when they realize they can go in and out of frame it turns more into one of those Hannah Barbera montages where the kids from Scooby Doo are all running in and out of doors in a hallway chased by a Mummy. Only the Mummy is Angelina and Scooby is Pauly D.

2. Awesome film/dance/art

Michael Flatley, you just got served. God I love the choreo in the middle section.

Posted by James on 24/11/2010 at 11.am

0:22. JUST WAIT FOR FUCKING 0:22

Kosuke Kasza Cousteau takes us on another youtube exhibition to the depths of our terrifyingly weird ocean.

W
h
a
t

t
h
e

f
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c
k

also in other weird shark sightings LOOK AT THIS FUCKING OVEN MIT

Posted by Carter on 17/11/2010 at 4.pm

JAPAN WINS GOLD IN LATEST “HATERS GONNA HATE” GAMES

Posted by Carter on 11/09/2010 at 4.pm

I WAS ALL LIKE “HEY” AND THEN YOU WERE ALL LIKE “WAT”

Posted by Carter on 09/09/2010 at 7.pm

DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHEN DARIUS RUCKER WAS IN THAT BURGER KING AD?

Brilliant?  Terrifying?  Desperate?  All of the above?

Posted by Carter on 09/09/2010 at 3.pm

LARRY RAPS A KILLER CHEESE STEAK

Soooo if you’re gonna make a fool of yourself in a local commercial I think step one begins with absolutely zero production budget.

Posted by Carter on 24/08/2010 at 10.pm

GO TO THIS RIGHT NOW – USHER “PAPERS” WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

CLICK THE IMAGE OR CLICK HERE

Posted by Carter on 23/08/2010 at 5.pm

TWO THINGS I WANT RIGHT NOW: A LUNCH REQUEST –> PIZZA HUT AND CRYSTAL PEPSI SPECIAL

I’m really hungry today.  Do you think there’s a black market for Crystal Pepsi?  Wait let me eBay that.

HOLY SHIT.  SCORE.

Sadly it’s diet.  Double sads it’s $29.49

Shit I guess I’ll just have to settle for the pogs.

Who wants a pizza party?

Specifically what kind of Pizza Hut specialty pizza do you want?

I’m thinking Super Supreme Pizza.  The addition of black olives and ham really complete the glutton flavor profile.

Also like don’t even fucking try and offer me some thin crust or specialty bullshit.  I want classic pan.  Well, maybe AND THAT’S A BIG MAYBE – I can be convinced to go stuffed crust – but I refuse to eat it backwards.  That’s just pure nonsense.

And like what the fuck is this crap?

I don’t trust you Big Italy.  You’re a flash in the pan.  The Arch Deluxe of the Hut.

Yeah let’s just go with a good ole’ deep dish.

Does anyone have any Tums Lipitor?  Does anyone know if there actually is a legit Pizza Hut in New York?  I’m not dealing with some weird Taco Bell takeover crap.

Posted by Carter on 23/08/2010 at 1.pm

I 100% COMPLETELY MISSED SHARK WEEK THEN REALIZED THEY HAVENT EVOLVED

Furthermore, don’t you guys remember a time when Discovery Channel had way better programming?  I’m over Mike Rowe stomping through feces and then narrating about some crab boats.

So shark week comes.  They promo THA FECK out of it.  I remember the tie in with like THE X GAMES (?!?!?!) promotion.

But I never once tuned in.  Why?  Oh probably because NOTHING HAS CHANGED.  THEY’RE MONSTERS IN THE DEEP.  STOP ACTING LIKE THEY CAN BE LOVED.  Shark overload.  Boy who cried Shark?  What’s the term I’m looking for?  Would I even be scared anymore?

Posted by Carter on 10/08/2010 at 5.pm

I’VE BEEN GONE FOR THREE MONTHS BUT RETURN WITH VIDEO OF AN EAGLE THROWING A GOAT OFF A CLIFF

You’re welcome

Posted by Carter on 14/07/2010 at 2.pm

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