My suit renders your opinion irrelevant


No dude, she totally loves you… what are you talking about?

Dude chicks are just like that bro, it’s what they do.


Why you should never ask the internet “what should I buy my girlfriend’s parents?”

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

WANT NOW: Solo Floor Lamp from Re-Surface Brooklyn (GOT NOW)

Screen shot 2009-12-18 at 8.18.56 PMScreen shot 2009-12-18 at 8.19.25 PM

I paid WAY too much for this.  But dear god it looks so cool.  Mine is veneered in cherry wood.

NEWS FLASH: We all sound like a cross between Dylan and Springsteen

So apparently, this italian nutjob with unlimited access to a crazy soundstage made up a song with gibberish to sound like American English…and it kinda does. I guess I’ve never thought about what english sounds like to anyone who doesn’t understand it. Is this why we just get louder when talking to foreigners? I mean, it sounds like you should be able to understand us right? RIGHT? RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT?


merrxmas nancy

Unsettling Today: Cat Massage



*laughs nervously* *winces* *repeats*

Twilight really does blow. It really really does. You guys. I’m not kidding.

Has anyone seen the first Twilight movie? It was awful. Like, so awful that I felt robbed for TORRENTING it (don’t ask, I was bored and left alone one night. Moral of the story: I need adult supervision at all times). The only redeeming quality was the fact that apparently the entire production staff had no idea what a cinematographer was, and so they let him/her do pretty much whatever they wanted. The result? A gorgeously over-saturated lushy green and grey paradise that didn’t fit anything else having to do with the movie. It’s like the cinematographer took it upon themselves to make this movie pretty like King Richard took it upon himself to conquer the shit out of the middle east. Now, that being said, it was still the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I can hear you dear reader, “ha ha, there’s no way that’s possible, haven’t you seen The Proposal, or The Net, or even Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous?” Shut up. Shut up dear reader, and also why do you hate Sandra Bullock so much? Actually, that was just my imagination of your hypothetical refusal to believe me, so I guess….Why do I hate Sandra Bullock so much? Oh yeah, cause she’s intolerable to watch.

Wait, I’m getting off topic. I would watch a youtube mash up of The Net and BOTH Miss Congeniality’s cobbled together by a 14 year old, tracked exclusively to Nickelback and interspersed with stills of Miley Cyrus, rather than once again sit through the scene where that FUCKING HAIRDO explains that VAMPIRES ARE SPARKLY. GOD DAMMIT.

Anyway, this has all been a preamble to this video. New Moon in one minute.

Thanks to ZZZLLL for posting this originally and Risa for reminding me how funny it is.

HAHA YOU SUCK: Mascot Tries To Dunk Off Exercise Ball

Don’t laugh at the fact that he BITES IT SO HARD.  Laugh at the fact that NO ONE comes to his aide as he writhes in pain.  I’m sure he was fine though….