NO AMERICANO IS DISTINCTLY AMERICANO

So, this song happened. And I didn’t know it was a thing. But apparently it’s a thing having been appropriated by my two favorite representations of quintessentially American high and low culture.
1. The Jersey Shore

This video made me laugh the first time I saw it. Let’s just say the sun was down, and I was feeling…receptive. Anyway, that high voice in the beginning borders on terrifying, but the earnest, childlike joy that the castmembers are experiencing with a simple isight just warms the heart. Then when they realize they can go in and out of frame it turns more into one of those Hannah Barbera montages where the kids from Scooby Doo are all running in and out of doors in a hallway chased by a Mummy. Only the Mummy is Angelina and Scooby is Pauly D.

2. Awesome film/dance/art

Michael Flatley, you just got served. God I love the choreo in the middle section.

TONY HAWK 3 AN UNDERSTATEMENT

I never thought I would see the day when the shit you did in Tony Hawk 3 looked downright pedestrian. “Oh that’s cool, you hit a sick grind and then did a 1080 christ air into a nose manual? Congrats, you’re about as good at skateboarding as my kid brother, he’s 2.” Peep this and LOSE YOUR MIND.

Gorgeous.

Thanks to Tristan for this one.

WHERE IS THE FLAT BEAT OIZO!?!

In Mr. Oizo’s latest masterwork of adorable, yellow, slightly overweight and very well articulated puppetry, Flat Eric rides a scooter through the trees, and then he doesn’t. And then we find out what Pharrell has been up to since guesting on The Blueprint 3. I guess the new N.E.R.D. album isn’t coming together quite fast enough?

I kind of love this, but seriously, when he pushes play WHERE IS THE JAM OIZO?? NYmag posted this quoting Oizo about the video: “this short film has NOTHING TO SELL, I just did it for NO REASON.” Ugh fine. Let me just say I would prefer it if you were lying.

Side note: NYmag also said that you would also remember Flat Eric from the “Levi’s” ads. Where the fuck were you in 1999! Probably watching the matrix, you posers.